The skill of listening

Readers,

This post will look at a thumbnail outline of how to be a better listener.
We live in a time when listening is like a lost art. There appears to be a greater emphasis on multi tasking and getting as much done as quickly as possible than giving our loved ones the gift of listening to them.

The thumbnail is the word CARE.

The C is for concentrate. You cannot listen to someone if you are not able to hear what they are saying. You will not be able to hear what they are saying unless you concentrate. How often does it happen that someone has to call your name a few times before they get your attention. The general rule is that the ears follow the eyes so if you look at the person you want to listen to, you will be able to concentrate on what they are saying.

The A is for acknowledge. This is done by maintaining good eye contact, verbal prompts such as "ok, hmm, ahuh" etc and by body language such as nodding.
It happens very often nowadays where people are able to concentrate without acknowledging to the level that the person speaking doesn't actually even believe that they have listened and become surprised when the person is able to repeat back what was said.
The bigger problem is that many people who are able to listen without acknowledging think it is an acceptable way to listen. The problem of course is that the speaker has no way to distinguish between knowing when they have your attention or not.

The R is for respond. Most people think that being a good listener doesn't involve taking. The reality is however that it is not a one way thing. If one person speaks for too long, they can become self conscious and feel that there is an imbalance of information. After all, the person who has listened for long has found out a lot about the person who has spoken and their views, but the same cannot be said the other way. This is why it becomes important for a good listener to paraphrase back what has been said,  add their own input and perhaps ask some questions. This keeps the conversation flowing better and makes the person speaking feel the conversation is being valued.

The E is for exercising emotional control. Everyone has triggers which make them switch off when certain people are talking or when certain subject matters are being discussed. This is just a part of being human. However, it is very important to think about and know what our triggers are and how to best deal with them so that we do not appear rude or proud when in a trigger situation.

As always, this blog entry is not supposed to be exhaustive information on a subject. If anything, it is hopefully educational, enjoyable and prompts a desire to learn more about the subject.

Thanks for reading. If you do find it educational, please feel free to share the blog link with your friends and family. The aim is to remind myself and others to strive to learn to become the best versions of ourselves that we possibly can.

I will hopefully be back with another entry in the next 2-3 days.