Readers,
How thankful are you for the blessings that you have been endowed with?
Are you able to even count the blessings that you have?
Have you ever stopped to think that every breath that you are able to take is a blessing that a person who has all the wealth under the sun would sacrifice it all for if they were drowning or choking to death?
Have you ever considered the blessing of being able to see? How much would you pay to get your sight back if you lost it?
How thankful are you for your ability to think, learn, grow and develop?
How thankful are you for your ability to be thankful?
Imam Zain Al abideen (as) beautifully said that if you prostrate to God out of thankfulness for a favour, you need to know that the ability to prostrate out of thankfulness is itself such a blessing that requires a prostration of gratitude.
Imam Ali (as) beautifully said that if man knew how many blessings have been given to him by God, then he would not be able to come out of prostration for their whole life.
Many people mistakenly believe that focus on thankfulness means acting oblivious to your problems. It is simply not so. It is easily done to remain thankful while trying your best to improve your health, wealth, education etc.
Worse still are people who lack thankfulness because they think that the world or God owes them something. We came from a drop of bodily fluid and will end up under the ground. We have been given the opportunity to use the time we have been given, though we did nothing to earn the opportunity, to be thankful for the opportunity and do great things or resent the things that we were not given and wallow in destructive self pity.
I will end this blog entry with one final thought/question/quote on thankfulness for today:
What if you woke up today with only the things that you thanked God for yesterday?
Tuesday, 28 April 2015
Wednesday, 22 April 2015
3 steps to build rapport quicker
Readers,
Building rapport is the skill of being able to bond with people. It is one of the most important skills because any great human dream requires the cooperation and assistance of other people to help realise it. Gaining this assistance requires the ability to engage people to not just your ideas, but also to you. Today's entry will look at 3 simple steps to building rapport quicker.
The first important step to building rapport is to smile. You look your best when you smile and it's contagious. It is one of the most neglected easy things to do when meeting people for the first time.
The second step is to treat others how you would like them to treat you. The important thing to remember with step 2 is that it should be applied even if the person who you are talking to is not treating you how you would like to be treated. If you are only good to those who are good to you, then what good are you? True goodness is being good to those who are good to you and those who are not as being good is a part of your value system. I am reminded of the level of goodness of one of my greatest role models - Ali ibn Abu Talib (as). When he was the caliph of the Arabian Peninsula 1400 years ago, he was struck on the head with a sword causing a wound which he eventually died from a couple of days later.
What was most fascinating about the incident is that when the perpetrator was caught and brought to Ali (as) shackled, he insisted that the shackles be loosened and that the perpetrator be given something to drink as he was looking nervous. Nowadays, we lose all compassion for our fellow humans and express deep hate for merely cutting us up on the road. It is something to ponder upon.
The final step is to ask lots of questions. As mentioned in a previous post, people love nothing more than to be given the opportunity to talk about themselves and have someone take a genuine interest in their lives. Like all things, practice makes you better and better. I don't believe in perfection as there is always room for improvement!
I hope that you have found this post informative and enjoyable to read. I will hopefully be back in the next few days with another post.
Building rapport is the skill of being able to bond with people. It is one of the most important skills because any great human dream requires the cooperation and assistance of other people to help realise it. Gaining this assistance requires the ability to engage people to not just your ideas, but also to you. Today's entry will look at 3 simple steps to building rapport quicker.
The first important step to building rapport is to smile. You look your best when you smile and it's contagious. It is one of the most neglected easy things to do when meeting people for the first time.
The second step is to treat others how you would like them to treat you. The important thing to remember with step 2 is that it should be applied even if the person who you are talking to is not treating you how you would like to be treated. If you are only good to those who are good to you, then what good are you? True goodness is being good to those who are good to you and those who are not as being good is a part of your value system. I am reminded of the level of goodness of one of my greatest role models - Ali ibn Abu Talib (as). When he was the caliph of the Arabian Peninsula 1400 years ago, he was struck on the head with a sword causing a wound which he eventually died from a couple of days later.
What was most fascinating about the incident is that when the perpetrator was caught and brought to Ali (as) shackled, he insisted that the shackles be loosened and that the perpetrator be given something to drink as he was looking nervous. Nowadays, we lose all compassion for our fellow humans and express deep hate for merely cutting us up on the road. It is something to ponder upon.
The final step is to ask lots of questions. As mentioned in a previous post, people love nothing more than to be given the opportunity to talk about themselves and have someone take a genuine interest in their lives. Like all things, practice makes you better and better. I don't believe in perfection as there is always room for improvement!
I hope that you have found this post informative and enjoyable to read. I will hopefully be back in the next few days with another post.
Tuesday, 21 April 2015
The skill of networking
Readers,
One of the most important life skills is the skill of networking effectively. No human being regardless of how strong or smart they are can live a life without being in need of help from other people.
Therefore, the stronger network of people that you have, the easier it makes your life.
The most effective way of networking is by striving to help as many people get what they want. From the outset, this appears to be an impossible mission as we neither have the skills or time to help everyone get what they want.
However what you will find is that the more people that you associate with, the easier it becomes to match people who can be of help to each other up. The beautiful thing about this is that the more matching up you do, the more appreciated you become by your contacts and can eventually become the "Go To Person" for everything.
Once you have set about trying to help others get what they want, this creates the desire in others to reciprocate and give you what you want.
Remember the golden rule of networking is that people love nothing more than to talk about themselves. If you can become interested in someone, they will begin to find you interesting. Once this happens, the path to building a network has started.
I hope that you have found this post informative and enjoyable to read.
I will hopefully be back in the next few days with another post.
One of the most important life skills is the skill of networking effectively. No human being regardless of how strong or smart they are can live a life without being in need of help from other people.
Therefore, the stronger network of people that you have, the easier it makes your life.
The most effective way of networking is by striving to help as many people get what they want. From the outset, this appears to be an impossible mission as we neither have the skills or time to help everyone get what they want.
However what you will find is that the more people that you associate with, the easier it becomes to match people who can be of help to each other up. The beautiful thing about this is that the more matching up you do, the more appreciated you become by your contacts and can eventually become the "Go To Person" for everything.
Once you have set about trying to help others get what they want, this creates the desire in others to reciprocate and give you what you want.
Remember the golden rule of networking is that people love nothing more than to talk about themselves. If you can become interested in someone, they will begin to find you interesting. Once this happens, the path to building a network has started.
I hope that you have found this post informative and enjoyable to read.
I will hopefully be back in the next few days with another post.
Sunday, 19 April 2015
The skill of listening
Readers,
This post will look at a thumbnail outline of how to be a better listener.
We live in a time when listening is like a lost art. There appears to be a greater emphasis on multi tasking and getting as much done as quickly as possible than giving our loved ones the gift of listening to them.
The thumbnail is the word CARE.
The C is for concentrate. You cannot listen to someone if you are not able to hear what they are saying. You will not be able to hear what they are saying unless you concentrate. How often does it happen that someone has to call your name a few times before they get your attention. The general rule is that the ears follow the eyes so if you look at the person you want to listen to, you will be able to concentrate on what they are saying.
The A is for acknowledge. This is done by maintaining good eye contact, verbal prompts such as "ok, hmm, ahuh" etc and by body language such as nodding.
It happens very often nowadays where people are able to concentrate without acknowledging to the level that the person speaking doesn't actually even believe that they have listened and become surprised when the person is able to repeat back what was said.
The bigger problem is that many people who are able to listen without acknowledging think it is an acceptable way to listen. The problem of course is that the speaker has no way to distinguish between knowing when they have your attention or not.
The R is for respond. Most people think that being a good listener doesn't involve taking. The reality is however that it is not a one way thing. If one person speaks for too long, they can become self conscious and feel that there is an imbalance of information. After all, the person who has listened for long has found out a lot about the person who has spoken and their views, but the same cannot be said the other way. This is why it becomes important for a good listener to paraphrase back what has been said, add their own input and perhaps ask some questions. This keeps the conversation flowing better and makes the person speaking feel the conversation is being valued.
The E is for exercising emotional control. Everyone has triggers which make them switch off when certain people are talking or when certain subject matters are being discussed. This is just a part of being human. However, it is very important to think about and know what our triggers are and how to best deal with them so that we do not appear rude or proud when in a trigger situation.
As always, this blog entry is not supposed to be exhaustive information on a subject. If anything, it is hopefully educational, enjoyable and prompts a desire to learn more about the subject.
Thanks for reading. If you do find it educational, please feel free to share the blog link with your friends and family. The aim is to remind myself and others to strive to learn to become the best versions of ourselves that we possibly can.
I will hopefully be back with another entry in the next 2-3 days.
This post will look at a thumbnail outline of how to be a better listener.
We live in a time when listening is like a lost art. There appears to be a greater emphasis on multi tasking and getting as much done as quickly as possible than giving our loved ones the gift of listening to them.
The thumbnail is the word CARE.
The C is for concentrate. You cannot listen to someone if you are not able to hear what they are saying. You will not be able to hear what they are saying unless you concentrate. How often does it happen that someone has to call your name a few times before they get your attention. The general rule is that the ears follow the eyes so if you look at the person you want to listen to, you will be able to concentrate on what they are saying.
The A is for acknowledge. This is done by maintaining good eye contact, verbal prompts such as "ok, hmm, ahuh" etc and by body language such as nodding.
It happens very often nowadays where people are able to concentrate without acknowledging to the level that the person speaking doesn't actually even believe that they have listened and become surprised when the person is able to repeat back what was said.
The bigger problem is that many people who are able to listen without acknowledging think it is an acceptable way to listen. The problem of course is that the speaker has no way to distinguish between knowing when they have your attention or not.
The R is for respond. Most people think that being a good listener doesn't involve taking. The reality is however that it is not a one way thing. If one person speaks for too long, they can become self conscious and feel that there is an imbalance of information. After all, the person who has listened for long has found out a lot about the person who has spoken and their views, but the same cannot be said the other way. This is why it becomes important for a good listener to paraphrase back what has been said, add their own input and perhaps ask some questions. This keeps the conversation flowing better and makes the person speaking feel the conversation is being valued.
The E is for exercising emotional control. Everyone has triggers which make them switch off when certain people are talking or when certain subject matters are being discussed. This is just a part of being human. However, it is very important to think about and know what our triggers are and how to best deal with them so that we do not appear rude or proud when in a trigger situation.
As always, this blog entry is not supposed to be exhaustive information on a subject. If anything, it is hopefully educational, enjoyable and prompts a desire to learn more about the subject.
Thanks for reading. If you do find it educational, please feel free to share the blog link with your friends and family. The aim is to remind myself and others to strive to learn to become the best versions of ourselves that we possibly can.
I will hopefully be back with another entry in the next 2-3 days.
Thursday, 16 April 2015
The power to be a better spouse/ partner
Readers,
One thing that everyone wants is a loving and compatible partner who can help you to grow into the person you want to become.
However, most people are too self absorbed to try and become a more loving and compatible partner for their own significant other.
This short post will focus on 3 simple things that every reader can do to become a better partner for their loved one.
Actually these three things can be done to improve relationships with any close family members or friends.
The first one is: Attention.
Every person has a need to feel important and valued. One of the most important and easy ways to achieve this is by giving someone your undivided attention. This means putting down your smartphones, switching off the tv and maintaining eye contact allowing your loved one to express what they desire to express. It is such a simple thing to do and yet gets neglected by so many.
The second one is affection.
Many people think that affection is limited to one action. However, the reality is that people love to be hugged, have their hand held, be smiled at etc etc which a lot of is done in a completely non sexual way.
Ask yourself how often you consciously make an effort to show affection to your partner and other people you love.
The third and final one for today is appreciation.
Every person needs to be appreciated for the good things that they do. Studies have shown that people are far more likely to continue to do good things if praised and rewarded compared to the likelihood of people changing after being criticised and punished. At the start of most relationships, both parties are eager to thank and praise each other. As the relationship gets older, both take each other for granted.
This list is not supposed to be an exhaustive list of advice to have a healthy relationship. Rather it is supposed to act as a springboard to carry on studying the subject to continuously improve in this area.
Best wishes.
I will hopefully be back with another post in the next 2-3 days.
One thing that everyone wants is a loving and compatible partner who can help you to grow into the person you want to become.
However, most people are too self absorbed to try and become a more loving and compatible partner for their own significant other.
This short post will focus on 3 simple things that every reader can do to become a better partner for their loved one.
Actually these three things can be done to improve relationships with any close family members or friends.
The first one is: Attention.
Every person has a need to feel important and valued. One of the most important and easy ways to achieve this is by giving someone your undivided attention. This means putting down your smartphones, switching off the tv and maintaining eye contact allowing your loved one to express what they desire to express. It is such a simple thing to do and yet gets neglected by so many.
The second one is affection.
Many people think that affection is limited to one action. However, the reality is that people love to be hugged, have their hand held, be smiled at etc etc which a lot of is done in a completely non sexual way.
Ask yourself how often you consciously make an effort to show affection to your partner and other people you love.
The third and final one for today is appreciation.
Every person needs to be appreciated for the good things that they do. Studies have shown that people are far more likely to continue to do good things if praised and rewarded compared to the likelihood of people changing after being criticised and punished. At the start of most relationships, both parties are eager to thank and praise each other. As the relationship gets older, both take each other for granted.
This list is not supposed to be an exhaustive list of advice to have a healthy relationship. Rather it is supposed to act as a springboard to carry on studying the subject to continuously improve in this area.
Best wishes.
I will hopefully be back with another post in the next 2-3 days.
Thursday, 9 April 2015
The power of action
Morning readers.
Today we will be looking at one of the biggest powers we possess as human beings. It is a power that we take for granted and don't utilitise as often as we should.
This is the power to take action. It is the power to actually do what you want to do and be who you want to be.
Most people put off what they can do to become successful today until tomorrow. Why? Because the decision to delay taking action is easier than taking action immediately.
Remember though that the most successful people take action immediately and take action daily.
Other people don't take action because they don't know what to do or how much to do.
A great tactic for overcoming this problem is a 3 stage process:
1) plan. Make a plan to do something. It doesn't matter what it is, if it is the right action or the right amount
2) do. Action the plan. Do what you planned.
3) review. Assess how the action worked out in line with your desired result and adjust the plan accordingly putting you back to stage 1 of the 3 stage process.
An example of this is wanting to learn about world war 2. You plan to read for 1 hour from your text book every Friday night for 1 month.
You do it.
When you review it, you realise that Friday night is not a good time to read as you are in a rush to finish reading because you want to meet your friends. So you change the plan to read on Wednesdays instead.
Then when you review it, you find reading for one hour too tiring and you are not retaining enough information you are reading so you change it to reading for 30 minutes.
I think you get the idea.
The beautiful thing is everyone can do this and with different tasks they want to achieve.
We live in a world where we can make excuses or we can live empowered lives full of action. The choice is ours.
Have a blessed day and I will hopefully be back with another post in the next 7 days as I have a busy week ahead.
Today we will be looking at one of the biggest powers we possess as human beings. It is a power that we take for granted and don't utilitise as often as we should.
This is the power to take action. It is the power to actually do what you want to do and be who you want to be.
Most people put off what they can do to become successful today until tomorrow. Why? Because the decision to delay taking action is easier than taking action immediately.
Remember though that the most successful people take action immediately and take action daily.
Other people don't take action because they don't know what to do or how much to do.
A great tactic for overcoming this problem is a 3 stage process:
1) plan. Make a plan to do something. It doesn't matter what it is, if it is the right action or the right amount
2) do. Action the plan. Do what you planned.
3) review. Assess how the action worked out in line with your desired result and adjust the plan accordingly putting you back to stage 1 of the 3 stage process.
An example of this is wanting to learn about world war 2. You plan to read for 1 hour from your text book every Friday night for 1 month.
You do it.
When you review it, you realise that Friday night is not a good time to read as you are in a rush to finish reading because you want to meet your friends. So you change the plan to read on Wednesdays instead.
Then when you review it, you find reading for one hour too tiring and you are not retaining enough information you are reading so you change it to reading for 30 minutes.
I think you get the idea.
The beautiful thing is everyone can do this and with different tasks they want to achieve.
We live in a world where we can make excuses or we can live empowered lives full of action. The choice is ours.
Have a blessed day and I will hopefully be back with another post in the next 7 days as I have a busy week ahead.
Wednesday, 1 April 2015
The power of belief
Readers,
What do you believe is possible for you?
It is very common for people to give up on their hopes and dreams when they face some turbulence. They forget how much the power of belief changes everything.
There is a popular old saying that states "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right in most cases "
The question becomes then how do can we alter our beliefs?
The first answer is simply deciding on changing our mind. We have the power to do this whenever we want to.
The second answer is probably a bit more helpful though.
We need to find experiences in our lives where we achieved a goal that didn't happen easily or naturally but we persisted anyway and eventually succeeded.
We also need to keep on seeking out opportunities to channel our new beliefs.
Until a few weeks ago, I was too nervous to put screen protectors onto phones at work in the fear of messing it up and yet now I can do it (and improving all the time ). What changed? I decided to first of all try knowing that the worst thing that could happen is really not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
Secondly, I remembered things that I have done before that I didn't think *i* could. Remembering things that you found hard to get yourself to do and using them as motivation to get yourself to do new things is a cyclical road to success that leads to more and more confidence which results in greater levels of action.
I hope that you have enjoyed reading this post and learnt / refreshed your memory at least a little.
I am going to be busy for the next week or so. My next post will be in 5 to 10 days, God willing.
What do you believe is possible for you?
It is very common for people to give up on their hopes and dreams when they face some turbulence. They forget how much the power of belief changes everything.
There is a popular old saying that states "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right in most cases "
The question becomes then how do can we alter our beliefs?
The first answer is simply deciding on changing our mind. We have the power to do this whenever we want to.
The second answer is probably a bit more helpful though.
We need to find experiences in our lives where we achieved a goal that didn't happen easily or naturally but we persisted anyway and eventually succeeded.
We also need to keep on seeking out opportunities to channel our new beliefs.
Until a few weeks ago, I was too nervous to put screen protectors onto phones at work in the fear of messing it up and yet now I can do it (and improving all the time ). What changed? I decided to first of all try knowing that the worst thing that could happen is really not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
Secondly, I remembered things that I have done before that I didn't think *i* could. Remembering things that you found hard to get yourself to do and using them as motivation to get yourself to do new things is a cyclical road to success that leads to more and more confidence which results in greater levels of action.
I hope that you have enjoyed reading this post and learnt / refreshed your memory at least a little.
I am going to be busy for the next week or so. My next post will be in 5 to 10 days, God willing.
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