Readers,
How often do we engage in self pity?
Has it ever been a productive use of our time or energy?
How often have you encouraged your children, sibling, parents or friends to engage in self pity when things are not perfect in their lives?
I have personally never met anyone who has encouraged me to engage in self pity and hope that no reader has either.
The difficulty that self pitying people have is that they are stuck in the problem rather than working on a solution. The reality is that any problem that anyone is facing is only a problem if they choose to see it that way. A better way to perceive non ideal situations are as challenges or opportunities for growth.
The interesting thing about pity is that though people almost universally agree that it is counter productive when done for yourself and generally don't like to be pitied by others, they often grant themselves an exception to pity others.
The problem with pitying other people is that you create an impression that you are better than they are and that the person you are pitying is helpless and incapable.
I would like to share a story to help clarify the point.
Wilma Rudolph who suffered a very difficult start to life was famously told by her doctors as a child that she would never walk normally for her whole life. If ever there was a good reason to pity someone, it's your child daughter who has received such heartbreaking news.
What happened? Her mother didn't pity her and didn't allow her to engage in self pity. Not only did she learn to walk normally, she learnt to run and incredibly fast. In fact, she became the fastest woman in her life.
Could this have been achieved through receiving pity from her mother?
I would like to conclude by saying that although pity is a bad thing, showing and feeling mercy and compassion are both good things. What's the difference between compassion and pity?
Compassion is a feeling shared about somebody you consider equal to you and you actually do actions to help.
Pity is a feeling born out of feeling superior to someone with no real desire to make their situation any better.
To conclude, the only people who should be pitied are those who themselves engage in self pity and even then it should be because of their engagement in self pity rather than the reason for the self pity and the pity should be felt in the heart rather than expressed.
Well, that's my opinion anyway :)
Thursday, 11 June 2015
Monday, 8 June 2015
The power of discipline
Readers,
How much self discipline do we have?
How disciplined are we in terms of what time we go to bed every night?
How about what time we get out of bed?
How disciplined are we about what we put in to your stomach?
How about how often we exercise our bodies and minds?
Are we busy surviving day to day or are we engaged in building and carrying out the disciplines that will carry us to where we want to be in the future?
The power of discipline is probably one of the most important skills in the whole world because nothing great can come about without it.
The obvious question is how to become disciplined. What has worked well for me in my personal experience is the necessity of making very few changes at a time and constantly reviewing why you want these disciplines.
As I often do, I will end this post with a quote from Jim Rohn that I found particularly profound.
"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment"
How much self discipline do we have?
How disciplined are we in terms of what time we go to bed every night?
How about what time we get out of bed?
How disciplined are we about what we put in to your stomach?
How about how often we exercise our bodies and minds?
Are we busy surviving day to day or are we engaged in building and carrying out the disciplines that will carry us to where we want to be in the future?
The power of discipline is probably one of the most important skills in the whole world because nothing great can come about without it.
The obvious question is how to become disciplined. What has worked well for me in my personal experience is the necessity of making very few changes at a time and constantly reviewing why you want these disciplines.
As I often do, I will end this post with a quote from Jim Rohn that I found particularly profound.
"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment"
Thursday, 28 May 2015
Peer pressure
Morning readers,
How often are you a victim of peer pressure?
How often are you a perpetrator of peer pressure?
It has been mentioned in an earlier entry that the power of our associations make a huge impact on our habits and ultimately who we are.
Peer pressure is a continuation in the same line as that entry.
The questions we must continously remember to ask and as often as possible are
Who do I spend my time with?
What are they doing to me?
Is that OK?
If we are not willing to practise limited associations with people who are going to pull us away from the better vision we have for ourselves, then we should not complain about not being where we want to be.
Many people strive for increasing the quantity of their friends.
How few worry about the quality!
One good friend who is a positive influence on you is better than 50 whose company sees you corrupting your health, wealth and spirituality.
The good news is that you are able to make the decision to choose your friends more carefully as soon as you want.
As I often do, I will end this post with a quote. This is from Will Smith:
“TOO MANY PEOPLE SPEND MONEY THEY HAVEN'T EARNED TO BUY THINGS THEY DON'T WANT TO IMPRESS PEOPLE THEY DON'T LIKE.”
How often are you a victim of peer pressure?
How often are you a perpetrator of peer pressure?
It has been mentioned in an earlier entry that the power of our associations make a huge impact on our habits and ultimately who we are.
Peer pressure is a continuation in the same line as that entry.
The questions we must continously remember to ask and as often as possible are
Who do I spend my time with?
What are they doing to me?
Is that OK?
If we are not willing to practise limited associations with people who are going to pull us away from the better vision we have for ourselves, then we should not complain about not being where we want to be.
Many people strive for increasing the quantity of their friends.
How few worry about the quality!
One good friend who is a positive influence on you is better than 50 whose company sees you corrupting your health, wealth and spirituality.
The good news is that you are able to make the decision to choose your friends more carefully as soon as you want.
As I often do, I will end this post with a quote. This is from Will Smith:
“TOO MANY PEOPLE SPEND MONEY THEY HAVEN'T EARNED TO BUY THINGS THEY DON'T WANT TO IMPRESS PEOPLE THEY DON'T LIKE.”
Sunday, 24 May 2015
The power of encouragement
Morning readers,
How often do you go out of your way to offer encouragement to your friends and family?
How often do you seek out information in the form of books, articles or videos that encourage you?
A wonderful quote that I recently read stated that encouragement is oxygen for the soul.
It is fascinating that when teaching a child a new skill such as walking or talking, us human beings have unlimited patience and offer huge encouragement even with the smallest of progress. However, when the child gets older and older the encouragement dissipates and all that remains are scowling orders and unreasonable expectations on how well it should be achieving compared to their peers.
Experiments conducted have shown that people learn quicker and retain more when encouraged yet as a species we still don't take heed and are all too quick to criticise.
From a religious perspective, it is interesting for me to see that God almighty praises a nation in the Quran as being the best nation and gives 2 reasons for the praising the nation.
None of the reasons include education, affluence or health.
In chapter 3:110 of the Quran, God praises a nation for its people encouraging each other towards righteousness and discouraging each other from evil.
In today's world, there seems to be a huge focus on ourselves and doing the best that we can. There is nothing wrong with wanting the best for ourselves. It is in our nature.
What I am really trying to convey is that each of us possess the power to provide oxygen to the soul of each other with words of praise, recognition and encouragement and we should be mindful to not neglect this beautiful gift that we are able to offer that doesn't even cost us anything. We should also be mindful to find people and sources of encouragement to ensure that we grow and develop into our full potential.
As often, I will end this post post with a quote:
9/10ths of education is encouragement.
How often do you go out of your way to offer encouragement to your friends and family?
How often do you seek out information in the form of books, articles or videos that encourage you?
A wonderful quote that I recently read stated that encouragement is oxygen for the soul.
It is fascinating that when teaching a child a new skill such as walking or talking, us human beings have unlimited patience and offer huge encouragement even with the smallest of progress. However, when the child gets older and older the encouragement dissipates and all that remains are scowling orders and unreasonable expectations on how well it should be achieving compared to their peers.
Experiments conducted have shown that people learn quicker and retain more when encouraged yet as a species we still don't take heed and are all too quick to criticise.
From a religious perspective, it is interesting for me to see that God almighty praises a nation in the Quran as being the best nation and gives 2 reasons for the praising the nation.
None of the reasons include education, affluence or health.
In chapter 3:110 of the Quran, God praises a nation for its people encouraging each other towards righteousness and discouraging each other from evil.
In today's world, there seems to be a huge focus on ourselves and doing the best that we can. There is nothing wrong with wanting the best for ourselves. It is in our nature.
What I am really trying to convey is that each of us possess the power to provide oxygen to the soul of each other with words of praise, recognition and encouragement and we should be mindful to not neglect this beautiful gift that we are able to offer that doesn't even cost us anything. We should also be mindful to find people and sources of encouragement to ensure that we grow and develop into our full potential.
As often, I will end this post post with a quote:
9/10ths of education is encouragement.
Wednesday, 20 May 2015
The power to be enthusiastic
Good morning everyone
What makes you enthusiastic?
How often are you enthusiastic?
How often are you indifferent or luke warm instead of being enthusiastic?
One of the biggest keys to success is to be enthusiastic.
Why?
The reason is that enthusiastic people are the most influential. If a foolish idea and a wise idea are both presented to masses of people, but the wise idea is presented with a lack of interest and the foolish idea is presented with huge enthusiasm, which idea do you think will win the hearts of the people?
If you think it is the wise idea, then you are dreaming about an ideal world and one in which I certainly do not live.
The reality is that enthusiasm is contagious. One of the easiest ways to stand out from your peers is to become the most enthusiastic person you know.
It is also one of the most important skills to master to become more influential in both personal and professional matters.
Edward Appleton even stated that he values enthusiasm above professional skill.
If you can't become enthusiastic about what you do, then think about what you could do instead that you could be enthusiastic about.
Life is short and we all have things that we could achieve with passion and enthusiasm if we are only brave enough to follow our dreams.
Do you want to get to the last days of your life and think about how large parts of it were spent going through the motions rather than living a life of passion and enthusiasm?
I will end this post with a quote by Abraham Lincoln:
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
What makes you enthusiastic?
How often are you enthusiastic?
How often are you indifferent or luke warm instead of being enthusiastic?
One of the biggest keys to success is to be enthusiastic.
Why?
The reason is that enthusiastic people are the most influential. If a foolish idea and a wise idea are both presented to masses of people, but the wise idea is presented with a lack of interest and the foolish idea is presented with huge enthusiasm, which idea do you think will win the hearts of the people?
If you think it is the wise idea, then you are dreaming about an ideal world and one in which I certainly do not live.
The reality is that enthusiasm is contagious. One of the easiest ways to stand out from your peers is to become the most enthusiastic person you know.
It is also one of the most important skills to master to become more influential in both personal and professional matters.
Edward Appleton even stated that he values enthusiasm above professional skill.
If you can't become enthusiastic about what you do, then think about what you could do instead that you could be enthusiastic about.
Life is short and we all have things that we could achieve with passion and enthusiasm if we are only brave enough to follow our dreams.
Do you want to get to the last days of your life and think about how large parts of it were spent going through the motions rather than living a life of passion and enthusiasm?
I will end this post with a quote by Abraham Lincoln:
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
Wednesday, 13 May 2015
The ripple effect
Good morning everyone.
Have you ever stopped to consider how often and how well you utilise the ripple effect?
For those of us who have not heard of this concept before, the ripple effect means that just as ripples spread out when even a small pebble is dropped into the water, the actions of individuals can have far reaching effects.
Another quote that beautifully explains this concept is:
Remember there is no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
It is also my belief as a Muslim that the greatest good deeds I can perform are actions which cause ripple effects that can continue to benefit God's creation after I die.
If for example I pray, I get one good deed recorded. However if I lay down or pay for one brick to be laid down for a hospital, I will have a share of the reward for every person cured in that hospital so long as my brick is going strong.
So with this in mind, I ask everyone including myself again - how often and how well do we utilise the gift of the ripple effect?
We will only live on Earth for 60, 80 or maybe if we are lucky 100 years. When we check out of here, all that will matter will be who did we become and what positive contribution did we make.
It is therefore my suggestion that whenever you find an opportunity to produce a ripple effect, take it.
It could be sharing an article or quote on social media that one of your friends or family read that changes their life and teach it to others.
It could be planting a tree.
It could be raising righteous children.
It could be writing a book.
It could be contributing financially to building a school or hospital.
The possibilities are endless and they are all around us every day.
I will end this post with a quote from Mahatma Gandhi:
You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result.
Have you ever stopped to consider how often and how well you utilise the ripple effect?
For those of us who have not heard of this concept before, the ripple effect means that just as ripples spread out when even a small pebble is dropped into the water, the actions of individuals can have far reaching effects.
Another quote that beautifully explains this concept is:
Remember there is no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
It is also my belief as a Muslim that the greatest good deeds I can perform are actions which cause ripple effects that can continue to benefit God's creation after I die.
If for example I pray, I get one good deed recorded. However if I lay down or pay for one brick to be laid down for a hospital, I will have a share of the reward for every person cured in that hospital so long as my brick is going strong.
So with this in mind, I ask everyone including myself again - how often and how well do we utilise the gift of the ripple effect?
We will only live on Earth for 60, 80 or maybe if we are lucky 100 years. When we check out of here, all that will matter will be who did we become and what positive contribution did we make.
It is therefore my suggestion that whenever you find an opportunity to produce a ripple effect, take it.
It could be sharing an article or quote on social media that one of your friends or family read that changes their life and teach it to others.
It could be planting a tree.
It could be raising righteous children.
It could be writing a book.
It could be contributing financially to building a school or hospital.
The possibilities are endless and they are all around us every day.
I will end this post with a quote from Mahatma Gandhi:
You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result.
Tuesday, 12 May 2015
The power to wake up early
Good morning readers,
Have you ever stopped to consider what time you wake up every morning?
I am going to list some questions that I asked myself a few months ago and I will reveal some of my answers after listing the questions.
I think that everyone can get maximum benefit from this post by taking the time to write down their own answers or at least verbalise them.
Here are the questions:
1) What are your current morning rituals?
2) What do you think the perfect morning ritual looks like?
3) How much time would it take to perform what you think would be the perfect ritual?
4) How would you feel if you carried this ritual out for a week?
5) what changes would you expect in your life if you took on the perfect ritual?
6) should this ritual be different on days that I am working and days that I am off work?
7) won't waking up so early result in feeling tired really early and sleeping earlier?
The reason I have recommended to write your answers to the questions is because writing things down is empowering and clarifies ones thoughts.
It would be ideal to write your own answers down before reading mine, but it is up to each reader whether you want to read for entertainment, motivation to change or a bit of both.
1) my routine was to get dressed, brush my teeth and leave the house within 15 minutes of getting up. I would usually have woken up to pray the morning prayer and then go straight back to sleep.
2) perfect routine is very long to describe so I will summarise it.
It needs to have a spiritual element ( prayer, reading from the scripture etc)
It needs to have an educational element like reading / watching an educational programme.
Hygiene element: brush teeth, shave etc
Exercise
Journalling.
Helping the wife with some household chores.
Breakfast.
3) it takes around 3 hours
4) tiring, but fulfilling.
5) Happier and more spiritually fulfilled.
6) it should be the same on days on or off. Time wasted is life wasted.
7) yes it will, but you end up sleeping different hours rather than more hours. Sleeping from 10-30 to 5-30 instead of 12 to 7 for example. However, you can be more productive from 5-30 am to 7 am compared to from 10-30pm to midnight.
I will end this post with an ancient old saying that's wisdom still holds true:
Early to bed,
Early to rise
Makes a man (or woman!) healthy, wealthy and wise.
Have you ever stopped to consider what time you wake up every morning?
I am going to list some questions that I asked myself a few months ago and I will reveal some of my answers after listing the questions.
I think that everyone can get maximum benefit from this post by taking the time to write down their own answers or at least verbalise them.
Here are the questions:
1) What are your current morning rituals?
2) What do you think the perfect morning ritual looks like?
3) How much time would it take to perform what you think would be the perfect ritual?
4) How would you feel if you carried this ritual out for a week?
5) what changes would you expect in your life if you took on the perfect ritual?
6) should this ritual be different on days that I am working and days that I am off work?
7) won't waking up so early result in feeling tired really early and sleeping earlier?
The reason I have recommended to write your answers to the questions is because writing things down is empowering and clarifies ones thoughts.
It would be ideal to write your own answers down before reading mine, but it is up to each reader whether you want to read for entertainment, motivation to change or a bit of both.
1) my routine was to get dressed, brush my teeth and leave the house within 15 minutes of getting up. I would usually have woken up to pray the morning prayer and then go straight back to sleep.
2) perfect routine is very long to describe so I will summarise it.
It needs to have a spiritual element ( prayer, reading from the scripture etc)
It needs to have an educational element like reading / watching an educational programme.
Hygiene element: brush teeth, shave etc
Exercise
Journalling.
Helping the wife with some household chores.
Breakfast.
3) it takes around 3 hours
4) tiring, but fulfilling.
5) Happier and more spiritually fulfilled.
6) it should be the same on days on or off. Time wasted is life wasted.
7) yes it will, but you end up sleeping different hours rather than more hours. Sleeping from 10-30 to 5-30 instead of 12 to 7 for example. However, you can be more productive from 5-30 am to 7 am compared to from 10-30pm to midnight.
I will end this post with an ancient old saying that's wisdom still holds true:
Early to bed,
Early to rise
Makes a man (or woman!) healthy, wealthy and wise.
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